I am sure many of us have or will change jobs, and many of us then will have conversations with our managers or HR, who would like to retain us. First of all, congratulations! It takes much more courage to leave your current position than stay. Secondly, being invited to have this type of conversations means you are an valuable asset to your current employer. It is a recognition of your past achievements. So let’s face them positively.
But, at the same time, I fully understand the conversations are not easy. It needs convincing, needs certain level of openness, needs to be affirmative, and needs to be handled gracefully.
Here I am going to share a few tips with you:
Start from appreciation—
Our employer provides the platform for us to perform; People around us support us in one way or another in our achievements; Now they spent time and efforts to understand what they can do to retain us. So, we are grateful for that.
Maintain positive tone —
I am sure there are some “frustrating” moments that pushed you to quit your job. We also often hear people are saying “9x% of people quit their job because of their managers.”. Or you may feel you are under utilised. Or you might think you are not given enough opportunities or exposures. There are various reasons for us to make the decision. No matter of what, try to phrase them in a positive way. I am not saying we need to lie. It is not lying. It is also a psychological signal to ourselves by phrasing it positively— we are simply looking for a better opportunity for us to excel, to discover the potentials within ourselves, to adventure into a new role, to explore a new environment. After all, we are looking for a better way for us to succeed. A good example could be, you are moving from a MNC to a startup, because you might feel your career has been stagnant and you want to have a “promotion”. Then you can just tell HR or your manager that you are trying to explore a more dynamic environment and take up more responsibilities.
State the reasons of leaving affirmatively and confidently —
Decision of leaving is never easy. You must have thought over it, even have had a few sleepless nights to weigh different options. Although you have finally decided to leave, any kind of “retention” conversations may make you hesitate again. If the end goal is to leave, we should make our tone affirmative. It is our life and our career, and we are the CEO of the company called “myself”, so we are making the decisions. If we show any sign of hesitation, it will only make the conversation even longer and more unproductive for both sides.
Ensure the management that your team are strong enough to continue forward —
Our current employer is concerned over our leaving because they see the value in us. At the same time, they are also concerned about the responsibilities we carry, the projects we are working on, the team we are leading, or the clients we are managing. We need to tell and ensure the management that all of the concerns above are well taken care of. You have a strong team who will continue the delivery, you probably even have the candidate as your successor. So nothing to worry.
Get rid of the “guilt” feeling —
I know you must feel guilt for something, maybe to your team that you thought you leave behind, to the newly hired person who needs to say farewell even before he / she passes their probation, or to the organization that has provided so many opportunities to help you grow, or to the colleagues who you like to work with, or to the managers who trust you and you trust. Human beings have emotions. We are often attached to what we do and who we work with. Especially those attachment and people used to motivate us. However, any change will bring new opportunities for other colleagues. Now because you leave, there is an opening so other people may get promotion. Sometimes, your leaving may trigger some changes in the strategy or directions. So in the end, it is good thing for other people. We shouldn’t feel guilt.
Hope the tips are helpful.
And more importantly, hope you continue your success in your next role.
“Any ending is a new beginning!”